Ivy Brothers • 2024-10-30
Sometimes, a college essay just doesn’t hit the mark. Admissions officers read thousands of essays, and it’s easy to spot when one isn’t ready for primetime. If your essay shows any of these five red flags, it might be time for a serious edit.
5. Too Much Emphasis on Relatives
At Ivy Brothers, we've seen this one thousands of times, where we read the essay and then know more about the student's father than the student themselves. While family can be a powerful source of inspiration, the essay is supposed to be about you. If you’re spending paragraphs describing your grandparents' sacrifices or your parents’ work ethic, you risk making them the star instead of yourself. Admissions officers want to know who you are, not your whole family history. Keep relatives as supporting characters, but make sure you stay in the spotlight.
4. Lack of Time Periods
A strong narrative has a clear progression: past, present, future. If your essay reads like one long, timeless blur, you may be missing a key component of storytelling. Admissions readers want to know where you were, how you’ve grown, and where you’re headed. Set specific scenes, clarify time periods, and create a sense of movement to give your story depth and direction.
3. Readers Feel Nothing After Reading the Essay
If your essay doesn’t evoke any emotional reaction, it’s probably too “safe.” Whether you’re aiming for empathy, humor, or inspiration, the essay should leave readers feeling something. If multiple people read your essay and have a lukewarm reaction, consider diving deeper, sharing a more personal story, or adding moments that reveal who you really are.
2. Lack of Introspection
Colleges want thinkers, and your essay is one of the few places you can show them how you see the world. If your essay just lists events or achievements without reflecting on what they mean to you, it’s missing the mark. Ask yourself: Why does this story matter? What does it say about me? Don’t be afraid to dig into the why behind your experiences and choices—admissions officers want to see what makes you tick.
1. Acronyms That Nobody Knows What They Are
If your essay is littered with acronyms or club names that only make sense to people from your high school, it’s time to decode it. Nothing kills an essay’s flow faster than a list of letters that mean nothing to the reader. Be careful with jargon, and if you must use an acronym, make sure to explain it in a way that anyone can understand. Admissions officers shouldn’t need a cheat sheet to follow along.
Final Takeaway
Your college essay should be a window into who you are, not a foggy mirror. If you’re seeing any of these signs, take a step back, dig deeper, and refocus. The goal is to leave admissions officers feeling like they know you—not your relatives, not your resume, and definitely not a list of confusing acronyms. Be authentic, be clear, and most importantly, make sure you are the main character.
Ivy Brothers has helped many students get accepted to top schools, founded by admission counsellors from Harvard and Princeton. Schedule a consultation today!
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